Out of the Kitchen May 2016
WE’RE BACK WITH ANOTHER OUT OF THE KITCHEN POST – HERE’S WHAT WE’VE BEEN UP TO FOR THE MONTH OF MAY!
Things are going to be a little different this month. No pictures, no cute updates of what Salsa did.
Last week anxiety hopped on my back and it wants me to carry it around everywhere. It’s exhausting.
But it’s more than just exhausting. It steals my joy, it steals my peace, my motivation, my sense of who I am. It leaves me weak, leaves me scared, it causes me to question why God would let me experience this.
It leaves me thinking I’m not normal and I’m not strong enough.
How can Jesus use me for His good when I can’t even help myself?
Am I not trusting in Him enough?
Sometimes it’s harder in the moment to realize that these are lies – but they are. They are lies from satan.
If the enemy wants to keep attacking me with anxiety, he better be prepared for my relationship with Jesus to grow tenfold. He better prepare for me to come out stronger. He better prepare for my relationships to grow closer and more intentional with family and friends
I want to get to a place of acceptance. I want to get to a place where I don’t hate my anxiety.
Ultimately, I want Jesus to change my perceptive about anxiety. Or maybe it’s more that Jesus wants me to change my perspective.
So I decided to buy a ring to wear. The ring is a visible reminder that I have anxiety, that I accept anxiety as being part of me. I’m learning that anxiety isn’t the negative part of me and the rest of me is the positive part – but that anxiety is part of a whole.
I often struggle with feeling so normal and great when I’m not walking through a flare up and then I get so frustrated when anxiety is more prominent. The ring can remind me that my anxiety isn’t something that comes and goes, but because I am choosing to accept it, it’s a part of me, it’s always there – simply rising and falling at times.
“In every area of your life where there is trouble, God is calling you to a small step of faith and love. He is not calling you to solve what is wrong – tacking that is His job.”
I think my small step of faith is learning how to love my whole self.
I want to be vulnerable about what I’m going through.
I’m sharing this because I don’t want you to think I’m normal and you’re not.
She has a food blog with perfect looking pictures, she looks normal!
The camera is good at hiding the things I don’t want to share.. I just don’t point it in the direction of the ugly things.
But I want to break that cycle. The cycle of filtering so you only see the ‘flowery’ things.
I want to break the stigma of perfection – even though I have this great blog, I’m not perfect. My house isn’t staged. I have laundry piles and dirty floors. I’m a real person with real problems.
See our previous out of the kitchen posts.
Love this post, Beth. It’s a great reminder that, like you said, the camera is good at hiding things and not everything is as great as it looks on the outside. We all have our “things” that make us unique…who wants to be normal, anyway? :) I love your idea of the ring – I hope it helps you get through tough times!
Thank you for reading Taylor, it means a lot to me!
Beth – I came to your blog a few months ago by following a link to your earthquake cake. (Super yum, by the way…thank you for that!) I’ve been following you since then and have been wanting to tell you that I’m inspired by your “story” and that it brings me joy knowing that there are young couples in today’s world who are living for Him. Thanks for keeping things real and for sharing both the struggles and the successes with your readers as you look to Jesus.
Thank you for taking the time to read and comment Shelly!! <3
So glad you are normal like all of us, dirty floors and all! Hang in there w/the anxiety. Satan will push our buttons but keep rebuking and call out to God. The more you resist Satan the lesser his attacks are but sometimes he zings you out of nowhere. This will make you stronger.